Friday, December 28, 2007

Out of the Box

"Out of the Box"

I really hate that phrase. It smacks of something corporate and trite. But this week it perfectly describes my diabetes.

Monday, I had a full slate of pet sitting visits to make. Dogs inside, dogs in crates, all waiting for me to let them out and cater to their diverse doggy needs. Grabbed some coffee, got in the car, and decided to test before I headed out even though I felt fine. 54. Damn!!! Back inside, not saying nice things. My diabetes was out of it's box, and impacting my life, and my plans.

Tuesday (Christmas morning), finished walking a rambunctious, 9 month old golden retriever. Felt a bit light headed, tested, 49. OK, this is not what I wanted from Santa. Diabetes is out of it's box again, impacting my ability to do my job, and causing yet another delay.

Friday, I haven't run since my 5 miler with mom on Christmas day. Basal cut in 1/2 an hour before my run, just a routine test before I change to head out. 363. No run for me today. Diabetes is out of it's damn box again!

This week has felt like some sort of sick version of "pop goes the weasel", with diabetes rearing its ugly head at just the wrong moments and impacting my plans as well as my confidence. I'm now a pet sitter and doing what I love, but is it realistic to think the varied schedule and activity level that goes with that will work long term with my diabetes? I've been trying to work my way back up in mileage after a running injury with the goal of completing a half marathon in February. But is it really best to push myself that much, doing different workouts on different days, and always trying to play catchup with the blood sugar levels? I just wish this disease would get in it's box and stay there so I can live my life without having to spend hours trying to stuff it back in!


Donna said...

I hope you being a pet sitter & your running don't always have a negative impact on your diabetes. Hopefully, things will straighten out. It may just take some time. Since you're doing what you love, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work. Diabetes is just going to have to learn to adjust. I hope it gets back in its box soon. Good luck!

Carol said...

Thanks Donna. I know you're right, and most days I have a more "can do" attitude. But sometimes it just gets so darned frustrating and I start to have serious doubts. Thanks so much for your encouragment and emphazizing the part about doing what I love. If anyone has a big box with a very secure lock on it, I'm interested!